Soon to be here! The Breakup Portal! (If you are interested, just send me a message via contact or sandrahochhuber@sandrahochhuber.de and I put you onto the priority list!)

 

Busting the Myth of "Just Get Over It" - Why Heartbreak Deserves Self-Compassion

 

When we are going through heartbreak, it feels tough. Moreover, the rest of the world is turning. People around us, keep telling us, that it is after this or that amount of time, that it is enough. Just stop it. And we really, really want to stop it. Klaus Grawe has developed the four psychological needs as follows:

 

                                                               self-worth

attachment                                                                                orientation and control

 

                                    maximum pleasure and minimum pain

 

The first psychological need is attachment. It is our first need. The child is born with it. We need love and close relationships to our loved ones.

 

The second psychological need is starting to develop when the child is around two years old. It is a phase that all parents remember very well! The child learns to have boundaries. No! That is the most beloved word of orientation and control. We defend our autonomy when it comes to this need.

 

The third psychological need is all around our self-worth. Self-worth is the center of our psyche, it is the source of our inner universe. The child develops it over time. Up to the age of 8 years, there is the reflected self-esteem. A little boy sees his mother smile whenever he comes. This tells him that he is worthy. The mother is a mirror for the little boy. When we are getting older, it is our task to be kind to ourselves and tell us that we are worthy. Many of us need validation from the outside world, even as adults. Especially when there was not enough validation when we were little.

 

The fourth psychological need wants a maximum of pleasure and a minimum of pain. It is the id of Sigmund Freud, our inner child. It has all the good feelings we are yearning for. There would be no racing cars without the id! It is also overeating, can be into drugs and lead us to habits we don't understand. But it feels good. As it is also afraid of pain, here is fear and anger and all the protection mechanisms a little child has.

 

All the psychological needs are influenced by a breakup. Our need for attachment and love is unfulfilled. Our self-worth is really down. We feel like we have no control in this situation. And it is maximum pain! So it is no wonder why it is so difficult for us. 

 

So, let's start to be full of self-compassion. Understand that it is a lot. It really is difficult - and I can understand you!

 

 

In Bavaria we celebrate the 12 nights between the years. They are called Rauhnächte. During these nights we connect ourselves with the Divine and Mother Earth. Ancient rituals are an important part of this magical time. 

This year, I will celebrate these nights full of gratitude. Would you like to join me?

What are you grateful for?

This article will be growing every now and then. Enjoy this beautiful time full of magic.

What you need:

A notebook

Paper for your 13 wishes

Incense (Palo Santo, white sage)

A candle

 

21st of December:

Write down your 12 wishes

Cleaning and Clearing

Make your home neat and tidy - Then say: Thank you, water. Thank you for making my home clean.

Use incense to clear your rooms energetically

You can also use sounds and sing for the clearing of your rooms

 

25th of December

First night

Tonight we burn our first wish

January

 

26th of December

Second night

February

 

27th of December

Third night

March

 

28th of December

Fourth night

April

 

29th of December

Fifth night

May

 

30th of December

31st of December

1st of January

2nd of January

3rd of January

4th of January

Eleventh night

November

 

5th of January

Twelfth night

December

 

6th of January

 

Hello, beautiful!

Is there trauma in your body?

 

How would we know that there is trauma in our body?

Headaches and migraines

 

Back pain and often a bad posture. Many of these people have heard it in their childhood, "Stand straight".

 

Digestive issues

 

Gut issues

 

Fibromyalgia

 

 

What can we do about it?

There are many ways to release trauma in our body. Here are the best ones:

Hypnosis is a great way to work with our subconscious mind. It helps to get rid of old patterns we no longer need.

 

Tapping (EFT)

 

EMDR

 

RTE (Releas Trauma Exercises)

 

Yoga can help you to feel good in your body. To be in the moment and relax. It's an excellent combination with all the other tools.

If you want to work with me, just send me an email (sandrahochhuber@sandrahochhuber.de).

 

Sending you love, Sandra

Why do you always work with selflove? That's a question I hear quite often.

 

I hope this inspires you to be a selflover from your heart. Your soul is already. Perhaps you are reading this for a reason.

 

Spontaneous healing. That's what doctors say if they don't know why someone is well again. Especially when they were not involved in the healing. Especially when science says it is impossible to heal this issue.

 

Several years ago, I was in hospital because of an autoimmune disorder (Graves disease). During the operation, the surgeon unfortunately cut the optic nerve for my left eye and I was blind on one eye. But now I see, like in the famous gospel song. The doctors couldn't do anything, showed me the pictures with the cut nerve and said that's the way it is and will be forever (they are not allowed to be sorry for insurance issues). Inside of me there was a big nooooo shouting. With simple (and not so easy) selflove I healed. I still remember the day when I was seeing shadows and light. And the other day, when I was able to see a black 3 in my ophthalmologist's office, yes, just one number on the whole board. We were both crying.

A few years after this all happened they have shown in a labratory, that nerves can grow together again - and it is still impossible for humans, they say. Thank God I was not listening.

 

Selflove is the power within everyone of us. There is this light in you, it is divine and you are also divine. You are the light. Selflove is no game for ego-centric people. Selflove is a big lesson. Selflove makes you a lover of the world - and you are a part of it. That's why I work with selflove with every client.